I have absolutely failed to keep up with this blog during pregnancy. We moved back to Houston, I started a new job, and now here we are, two days away from the due date and I haven’t posted in months. But never fear! This baby is never coming out, so I can just pick right up where I left off.
I was doing pretty well up until about a week ago, when sleep stopped curing all of my aches and pains. Now I hurt from sun-up to sun-down, and my pelvis feels like it’s cracking in half, which is delightful. Add to that the fact that at every doctor’s appointment, they inform me that I am more swollen, but less progressed, and I am about done with this whole thing.
Today’s appointment went something like this:
Nurse: “Are your ankles still swol…oh, dear.”
Nurse: *attempts to find Fetusaurus’ heartbeat; Fetusaurus karate kicks the doppler; Mom can see this from across the room*
Doctor: “You’ve gained three pounds since last week, but I can see that’s because you’re retaining water, since you’re more swollen than last week.”
Doctor: *shoves arm up to elbow in va-jay and swirls it around* “Well, you’re not dialated anymore, and your cervix has retracted.”
So, to sum up: I am swollen, my cervix has changed its mind and has retreated into my abdomen, and my OB lost her watch while trying to find it. *Sigh.*
Just. About. Done.