Posted in February 2012

Fetusaurus Attacks

I have discovered that the Fetusaurus is leeching off of my immune system, because I have spent the last two days with my ears and nose plugged, and some seriously unsavory drainage going on.  Why is Fetusaurus trying to kill me from the inside?  I am taking two different types of prenatal vitamins, both the … Continue reading

Things I Think I Know: Week 5

Thing 1: Going over a speed bump will not cause Fetusaurus to bounce out of me.  I have been over several speed bumps since getting the positive, and so far, Fetusaurus has not fallen out.  I was worried at first, and drove really slow, and pinched my legs together, and hissed, “YOU STAY IN THERE, … Continue reading

The First Tri-assic

I have gone from the Great Barren Period to the First Tri-assic in one short week!  Well, not one short week.  Two days where we had conversations that went like this: Husband:  Are you pregnant? Me:  I don’t know, the line is super faint. Hours later. Husband:  The line was super faint, so you took … Continue reading

Teenagers and Natural Birth Control, Part I

At almost-30, I am just now feeling prepared to deal with whatever little heathen nature sends my way.  I am now also, at a distance, grateful for the little hellions that kept me childless for this long, because it gave me time to work out how to effectively deal with their insanity.  Their actions served … Continue reading

Genetics and The Laws of Even Distribution

Anyone will tell you that science has never been my strong suit. There are certain basic things that I understand, but anything more complex (and involving math) is somehow beyond me. Genetics, for example, completely baffles me. Case in point: I had no idea that it was possible for two biracial parents to produce these: … Continue reading

Confusion and Baby Supplies

When you’re trying to have a baby, you feel slightly inadequate when everyone around you seems to have super-fertile uteruses (uteri?) that send fresh, sperm-magnet eggs down the chute like clockwork every month, but it doesn’t matter if it happens every month, because it seems like their husbands just have to look at them and … Continue reading

Pregnancy and Bugs Bunny

I have two grocery store options right by my house.  One of them is always crowded with people who have no concept of how to walk with a cart or how to stay out of my way.  Therefore, I usually end up at the other one due to my desperate desire to avoid dealing with crowds.  Several … Continue reading